Where Do I Go After I Die?

For as long as anybody can remember (so.... like.... the 1920s...) people have debated where we go after we die. Christians and other religious folk seem to have a firm belief in life- after- death and a holy place for eternal happiness and worship. Atheists, however, suffer from the "Atheist's Curse". If you ask an Atheist what happens to people after we die, they will probably reply with, "Remember what it was like in the 1800s? Yeah, that's what it is like when you die."

Me? Personally, I hope when I die I get to sleep. For serious, getting up at 5:00 in the morning for school is a crock of shit.

That is all.

Love,
Amber

Squeak, Squeak!

The old saying goes "the squeaky wheel gets the grease." However, according to my best friend Maddy, "The squeaky third wheel gets the oil." Which, I have to admit, kind of makes me laugh. But that's not what I'm trying to write about.

Today, my wonderful boyfriend was talking about how he was going to be the seventh wheel tonight. He is going to a Motionless in White concert with his best friend, his best friendls girlfriend, his best friend's sister, her boyfriend, his best friend's mom and her boyfriend. I am not going. (Obviously, because I am sitting here writing this blog for you guys.) It's not that I don't like Motionless in White it is just that... quite frankly, I wasn't asked to go. Anywhoozle, I felt really bad for him. Especially when he texted to tell me his best friend and his best friend's girlfriend were... well... the text said "Yuck."

So alas, here I am, sitting on my couch feeling bad for my boyfriend when I started to feel bad for myself. Not because I didn't get to go see Motionless in White. It really isn't a big deal at all. I need to finish a book I just started. I feel bad for myself because I'm lonely. It is a Friday night. Normal people go out with friends or do SOMETHING on a Friday night. Or at least they have someone to talk to. I haven't talked to anyone in like... 2 hours. And it will probably be that way until Sunday when my boyfriend is no longer with his friend.

It's not that I don't want him to see his best friend. I really do want them to spend time together. I love my boyfriend and I adore his best friend. (His best friend and I were always really close.) I want them to spend as much time together as they desire, because I don't want to make my boyfriend pull a "Ted" on his friends because of me. The only thing that conflcts with that is my unhealthy obsession with my boyfriend. I am addicted to him. I want to be with him at all times. Like, when he leaves my house, I want to cry. Sometimes I do cry. How sad is that?!?!?

The point of that whole segway was to get back to the squeaky wheel from before. So I feel bad for my squeaky seventh wheel boyfriend who can squeak to me and his friends. But what about me? I'm the wheel that was left behind because it wasn't needed. Who do I get to squeak to?!?

So, my question is: is it worse to be a wheel that squeaks or a wheel that can't?

"Good Enough"

Good enough... good enough is never really good enough. At least, not for me. Today, I was given a 1 out of 6 for organization on a paper I wrote. Granted, I didn't care about the assignment, but I care about my writing. That was like a blow to the face with a steel chair.

So... how do we really define "good enough"? I mean, in what world do we, as humans, think that anything will ever be good enough? It's an unrealistic goal that we can't even begin to define!!! NOTHING!! Absolutely NOTHING will be good enough! Not for any of us. Even things that we consider satisfactory... there is always some part of us that is minutely disapoointed by whatever it is. So... should we give up or keep striving for the impossible?

Strive for the impossible, folks! Reach for the stars, and when you get to the stars, shoot for the moon. And when you reach the moon, keep on going!! You'll never get far enough!