Why I Want to Teach

I find that when I tell people I want to teach, I usually get weird stares or people ask me, "why?" They look at me kind of the way I look at math problems and ranch dressing. My usual response is, "Well, when you still count on your fingers, you don't have a lot of options." That's a pretty lame reason, right? Yeah, I think so, too.

So why do I want to teach? Well, it's kind of a long story.

I grew up in foster homes, and if you know anything about foster children, then you know that there is a stigma that surrounds them. And trust me, it's not a good one. You see, people believe that being in the foster care system means that you're a "bad kid" or that, because you "obviously had bad parents" that you'll grow up to do absolutely nothing with your life. Well, yeah, there are bad seeds in the foster care system, but that's true of every demographic. But it IS true that most foster children grew up with rough home lives. So they probably already feel pretty crappy about themselves. I know I did. So when you tell them they can't do it, they believe you. I went through elementary and middle school with a 4.0 GPA and still felt like crap. A retired English teacher told me I should go into the profession, but I ignored her. I knew that I was smart, but who cared? As a foster kid, my life didn't mean anything, so why bother. I got adopted while I was in middle school, but my new parents also believed that foster kids were bad seeds. When I got to high school, my GPA began to drop and I stopped caring. Now, mind you, it didn't drop a lot (it went to about a 3.5) but it was significant enough that people started noticing. Nobody wanted to be in my group because I wasn't the "smart girl" anymore. And then my sophomore year of high school came and I got a new English teacher. Man, that woman was something else! She wore sparkly shoes and clothes and she was WAYYYY too upbeat for a teacher. I mean, I thought most teachers were dead souls who hated their jobs. But she was AWESOME. She took a liking to me (God knows why) and took me under her wing. She praised my work when I wrote papers and even had me proofread my peers'. And then she told me I could do anything I wanted. Now, I know that that's what most people hear as little kids. They can be the president or an astronaut or a doctor. But that was the first time anyone had ever said that to me. And it hit me hard. I could be anything I wanted. I was skilled at writing papers and correcting grammar. Maybe I couldn't do math, but I wasn't stupid. She kept telling me, over and over, that I could do anything that I wanted to. And slowly, I began to believe it. But what was I going to do? Believing you can do anything and actually doing it are very different. I knew I couldn't do anything math related, even though the pay would be higher, because I'd be fired the minute they saw me count on my fingers. And the more I thought about it, the more I thought about my teacher. She had changed my life. And then I thought about all of the kids, like myself, who didn't have anyone cheering them on. I thought about the kids who sat in a classroom every day, and the only reason they were failing was because someone told them that, no matter how hard they tried, they wouldn't amount to anything. I thought about that and I made the decision, at the end of my sophomore year, to become an educator. Because I realized that it's so much more than standardized tests and benchmarks. It's more than droning on and on about something that students only listen to because it's the law. Educators are more than teachers. Educators are cheerleaders. They're voices for the kids who feel like they don't get a voice.They're an ear to lend when a student thinks nobody else is listening. Educators are the people who spend countless hours planning classes that are going to improve someone else's future. They're the ones trying not to take home with them the stories of their students' home lives that reduce them to tears. Educators are unsung heroes. They do what they do and they don't demand thanks or recognition. They take what they're good at and use it to improve someone else's life. They spend their days trying to brighten someone else's. They are life changers.

And that's why I want to teach.

On Going to College and Being Employed

     In just a few short days, I'm going to be moving into my dorm room and beginning my college classes. Yesterday, I started my first day of job training. I will be working in the newspaper office for my respective university. At first, I was really kind of nervous. However, yesterday went really well and I woke up in a very good mood this morning. I was excited to come back, and not just because of the money. I like my coworkers in the front office and the two, I suppose they are supervisors (I'm not sure what their titles are...), are incredibly nice and easy to get along with.
     What is really weird is that I never imagined myself as the kind of person that could happily sit at a desk and wait for the phone to ring so I can make a classified ad (even though M answers the phone first!) but it turns out that I am. I am perfectly content at my little desk space.

     I'd be lying if I said that I am not even the least bit nervous about actual college, though. I know that my job can't be my biggest focus- my grades have to come first if I want to keep my scholarships. I can only hope that my classes aren't too hard and that I can wake up with the same enthusiasm for class that I have for job training. And I know that I need to find a balance with working and class and studying. Fortunately, my class and work schedules work nicely together. Wednesdays I don't work at all, Tuesday and Thursday I only work mornings and I'm done relatively early on Monday and Friday. That leaves a good bit of time ever evening for studying as well as weekends.
     I also understand the importance of having an active social life so I am not entirely stressed out over class and work. I've joined two clubs (sorta) that I might have to take seriously if I start getting too stressed out. But I also need a study plan. I definitely need to make sure that I am reading my class syllabus and keeping up with what is going on. Also, if I have time, I would like to try to stay a little ahead of the game so that I'm not cramming for finals in December.

     The more I think about it, the less worried I am. I wasn't the best at studying or focusing or balancing my time in high school. In fact, I was just plain awful at all of the aforementioned things, as well as organizing and keeping my priorities straight. However, I firmly believe that if I set my mind to something, I can do it and nothing can stop me. So that's what I am banking on this semester.

     I also have a few other goals that I want to keep in mind and work on this fall. I want to start living healthier- I want to cut out sodas and eat less desserts. I'd also like to spend some time working out or swimming, at least, on days when my classes are fewer and further apart.

     Anyway, back to work!

Love,
Amber ♥