I love you. Not like, I "like you- love you", but like I "love you- love you". But, not like, "I want to be with you- love you" but "being there for you is enough for now and forever because we are friends- love you". Okay, so maybe it isn't like I "love you- love you". No, it isn't. But it is more than "I like you- love you." Anyway, I want you to know that. But like, I am not in love with you. But I honestly have no idea what I am trying to say right now. So I'm gonna look at pictures on the interwebz. Kay, bai!
Tuesday, October 28, 2014
Dear You,
Hey, guess what?!? This is a letter to you. (No, Sam, not you. Not this time.) I have been thinking about this for a while, and I so I wanted to tell you. But, in a way that you will most likely never see it.
Wednesday, October 22, 2014
The People Who Care
The people who care the most
Are often crying themselves to sleep
The people who smile the most
Are the ones who need a friend
The people who make you happy
Are the ones who are always sad
The people who are always there
Are the ones who are always alone
Three Emotions
What's it like, readers? What does it feel like to live a life where sometimes you are happy and sometimes you are sad? I would love for you to tell me. Let me tell you what being me is like.
Being me is like drowning. It's like constantly having great pressure on your chest at all times.
By nature, human beings come with a wide range of emotions. I come with three.
Some days, I am numb. I am completely and totally numb. I don't feel sadness or happiness or pain or anything. These are the days that I want to fight. These are the days when I am most likely to make a poor decision simply because I want to feel something.
Other days, all I feel is excruciating pain. I wish that I could tear myself apart. I want to self destruct. I can't, for the life of me, find a way to make the pain go away. So I cry or I refuse to eat. Anything.
Other days, I am so unbelievably angry. I know that if I am within a few feet of the wrong person I will try to fight them. I refuse to eat. I am always a few seconds away from flipping out on somebody. My temper has the shortest fuse. I don't even know why I get angry half of the time. But it is hard to live with.
I'm tired, guys. I spend 98% of my life being there for the handful of people that I actually care about. (The rest of the time I spend sleeping.) My friends know that no matter what is going on in their lives, I am there for them. But I don't get the same back. When I finally break enough to need someone to be there for me, they all run for the hills. I'm just too much to handle. And I'm getting tired of not only helping other people fight their fights, but of fighting mine alone. It's rough.
I'm tired.
Being me is like drowning. It's like constantly having great pressure on your chest at all times.
By nature, human beings come with a wide range of emotions. I come with three.
Some days, I am numb. I am completely and totally numb. I don't feel sadness or happiness or pain or anything. These are the days that I want to fight. These are the days when I am most likely to make a poor decision simply because I want to feel something.
Other days, all I feel is excruciating pain. I wish that I could tear myself apart. I want to self destruct. I can't, for the life of me, find a way to make the pain go away. So I cry or I refuse to eat. Anything.
Other days, I am so unbelievably angry. I know that if I am within a few feet of the wrong person I will try to fight them. I refuse to eat. I am always a few seconds away from flipping out on somebody. My temper has the shortest fuse. I don't even know why I get angry half of the time. But it is hard to live with.
I'm tired, guys. I spend 98% of my life being there for the handful of people that I actually care about. (The rest of the time I spend sleeping.) My friends know that no matter what is going on in their lives, I am there for them. But I don't get the same back. When I finally break enough to need someone to be there for me, they all run for the hills. I'm just too much to handle. And I'm getting tired of not only helping other people fight their fights, but of fighting mine alone. It's rough.
I'm tired.
Monday, October 13, 2014
I am in Mourning
I am in mourning for my generation. I mean, just look at us. We're seventeen/ eighteen years old. And we have all of these false perceptions of love and life and everything in the world.
Happily ever after? Yeah, no. That's not real. Forget about it.
A happy successful life if all you want to do is what you love? Nope. Honestly, it is REALLY hard to make a living doing what you want.
Nothing that we know is the truth. We are coddled and spoon fed and we're going to experience major culture shock when we get out into the real world. You guys want the truth? Here it is:
It doesn't matter if you find Mr. Right or Mr. Right Now or Mr. Wrong. Love hurts. It sucks. In fact, relationships, both romantic and platonic suck. People will hurt you and let you down and make you want to give up. People lie and cheat. They make mistakes and might even tell you that being with you was one of them.
You're going to be angry and upset, possibly more than you are happy. You just have to face that.
Happily ever after? Yeah, no. That's not real. Forget about it.
A happy successful life if all you want to do is what you love? Nope. Honestly, it is REALLY hard to make a living doing what you want.
Nothing that we know is the truth. We are coddled and spoon fed and we're going to experience major culture shock when we get out into the real world. You guys want the truth? Here it is:
It doesn't matter if you find Mr. Right or Mr. Right Now or Mr. Wrong. Love hurts. It sucks. In fact, relationships, both romantic and platonic suck. People will hurt you and let you down and make you want to give up. People lie and cheat. They make mistakes and might even tell you that being with you was one of them.
You're going to be angry and upset, possibly more than you are happy. You just have to face that.
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