A Backseat Friend? No...

I never allowed myself to be an option for anybody. They either wanted me around or I dropped them like a bad habit. I never wanted to be a second choice for anyone. You know, the person they went to when they couldn't get anything else they wanted. Yet somehow, that's exactly what I became.

It didn't happen the way I expected it to. He's my ex- boyfriend. And we stayed close friends through the breakup and everything else. We were REALLY close. We still cared a lot about each other and we could talk about anything. But now..?

Any of you guys remember "Shay"??? She was supposed to blog with me but now we hate each other.. anyway, remember her??? Yeah well, he really likes her. And he's been trying to get with her. But whatever....

Anyway, something was really wrong with him and he wouldn't tell me.... That's a first. We talk about everything. So I knew that something was up. And I recently received a message saying I needed to stop hugging him. From him. Which was weird, because he usually asks me for a hug when he sees me. So that really threw me off. And now he won't tell me what's bringing all of this on. He just keeps saying "I'm sorry." I can't help but think that Shay has a lot to do with it.

He, in a way, is being "forced" to choose between her and me. And he will be choosing her. I am aware of that. What saddens me the most is knowing I can't change it. In fact, I'm almost embracing it. I must really love the dude (as a brother kind of person). Because I am willing to sacrifice my own happiness for his. Which, guys, you should never do. But right now, there's so much going on, I am trying to hold onto and work out so many things that I am just emotionally drained. I don't have the strength to try to hold onto him, too. 

Cosiferd, I'm really sorry that this is how it's gonna be. I'm going to miss you a lot. I hope you're happy with her. I love you, buddy.

Love, 
Amber

Semper Fi

                              "Semper Externus, Semper Fidelis, Frater Infinitas." 

Or for those of you not in the know (or just... you know... folks like me that don't speak Latin on a daily basis..)  "Often Tested, Always Faithful, Brothers Forever"

I do hope that if there are any Marines reading this (veterans or otherwise) I do hope they will forgive me for being a day late. Because you see, yesterday was the Marine Corps birthday. And I didn't get a chance to post this. So, I apologize.

Why do I care about the Marine Corps birthday and not like, the Army's birthday or the Navy's or Air Force or whatnot?? Well... let's just call it an unhealthy fascination. It started with watching NCIS and falling in love with Gunnery Sergeant Leroy Jethro Gibbs. (In case any of you were curious, no. Mark Harmon who plays Gibbs was never actually a Marine. Although he depicts one quite well doesn't he??)

Anyway, long winded explanations and apologies later, I really just wanted to wish the Marine Corps a very Happy Birthday. And I wanted to thank all of the Marines who made that decision to serve the country. And to all of those who, perhaps, joined the Marine Corps but didn't make it through boot camp  you still gave it a shot. So I thank you too.

Oh! And to the rest of our veterans in the Service, thank you guys! Happy Veterans Day!



With Love,
Amber


Semper Fi