Dear Self,

     It's important that you learn something. And for your sake, learn it quickly. People will always, without a doubt, let you down. Without fail, even the most trustworthy people will disappoint you. Learn to be happy by yourself and not need anyone. Get comfortable being alone, because that's how you're going to be spending 98% of your life. By the time you're eighteen, you're going to be so fucked up that nobody will want you. By the time you are eighteen, you will have almost completely ruined the life of someone you loved, had your heart shattered by a guitar- playing boy who prefers sex to love, stressed out over your future, insulted most of your friends, learned another friend's deepest secret, cried over your weight, been in more than one foster home, feared for your life, considered taking your life, stopped a friend from taking his own life, lost that friend, alienated yourself, rejoined society, smoked, and most importantly, constantly wonder how your life would have been different if you hadn't done even just one of those things.

       When I started this letter, I was upset and kind of angry. But I'm not at the moment. Listen, I wish I could tell you to not make those mistakes. I wish I could tell you that your life would be easier if you wouldn't do what I did. Believe me, though, you're going to make those mistakes and you're going to laugh and cry and smile and you're going to be terrified and happy beyond what you knew was possible. It's going to be rough, let me tell you. And you're going to make mistakes and then immediately wish you could go back in time and change them. However, it's important for you to know that it gets better. Because when you're eighteen, you have a new boyfriend. A wonderful guy who loves you and makes you happy and treats you right and would do anything for you. You're going to love him like you've never loved anyone. And you're going to get even closer to A.B. and you'll be accepted to that huge flagship university you've had your heart set on since you were fifteen. You'll get a scholarship and fill out your FAFSA without any trouble and you'll make new friends and T.A. will come back to your school and you'll have a blast at the U.B. Saturday Programs. You'll ask about working as a U.B. tutor for the summer and you'll get the blessing of F.B. who you thought hated you. You'll buy a prom dress and it will be a black, strapless dress that you love. And you'l go to Honor Band in February and your boyfriend will come the day of the concert and take you and M.S. to lunch and he'll wait for you while you get dressed and he will watch your concert. He'll buy you roses because it's Valentine's Day (you won't ever receive flowers from a guy until then) and a box of chocolate and some Magic cards because he really wants to be able to play Magic with you. You'll get closer to one of your adult (adultier than you, you silly eighteen year old) friends. You'll see a sixty degree Christmas and a huge flood in February followed by almost eight inches of snow.

       The point I am trying to make here is that even though your life is going to suck for a while and you're going to make mistakes and you'll be scared and hurt and upset a lot, you need to make those mistakes. Because as I (eighteen year old you) type this letter, you need to know that your life is pretty great right now. You're in love and you're getting ready for prom and college. You've hit rock bottom. Now you've nowhere to go but up. So keep on keepin' on. Our future is waiting. :)

Love,
Amber <3